Blood on Blood
by agent iz hyper
Summary: 'Yeah, he wanted his brother back at his side, so what' / An insight on Dean's thoughts, right before the pilot ep.


_**Blood on**** Blood**_

**Summary: **'Yeah, he wanted his brother back at his side, so what?' / Dean's thoughts, right before episode 1, season 1.

**Disclaimers:** I don't own _Supernatural_, but my friend Dodo.123 and I are gunna own Sammy and Dean soon enough. ^^ We just need to... finalize our plan... But, as of now, nope. This is just me playing around in Deanie's mind, cuz I love the guy too much. *huggles him*

Oh, and the title comes from a Bon Jovi song, which I haven't heard, but I checked the lyrics and liked it so I used it's name. :D Now read. Just, a heads-up - deepness and a li'l angst ahead. Like, _deep_, deepness. :P Now, seriously. Read it.

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><p>Five days.<p>

_Five whole days._

Dad had never been gone that long before without any notice.

Dean growled in frustration and kicked aside a chair as he paced the small motel room. The guy hadn't even said where he was going, just that he had a lead and had to check it out. A lead on what? No clue. Dean was alright with _that_, though - hunting with his dad for years had gotten him used to the sudden decisions and hunts sometimes. But he had never disappeared on him without any word of what was going on.

Another curse slipped past Dean's lips and he picked up his silent phone again, speed-dialing his dad's number. A few rings, then... straight to voicemail. Again. Dean resisted the urge to throw the phone across the room. He'd already left countless voicemails, and searched the whole town for any clue as to where he could have gone, not that any of that had helped.

Maybe one of the other hunters knew something... Dean scrolled through his contacts list, wondering if he should call Pastor Jim or Bobby, or maybe...

Sam.

He stopped and stared at his brother's name. He wanted to call him, talk to him for once, see how he was doing. But Dad had left Sammy alone after he'd left, save for the few times they'd gone to South California to check up on him from afar, so Dean did the same. It wasn't like his bare tries at getting in touch with Sam the first couple of years had gone well anyway.

But Dad was gone now. No sign of him anywhere, no message of where he was, nothing. And Dean... didn't want to go search for him alone. If there was one thing he hated above all since Sam left, it was the solo missions. Dad always said it was more efficient if they each covered different leads, and that's what Dean found himself doing for the past three years. And he hated it. The naked feeling of having no-one to watch your back sucked. The lone researching and the awkward interviewing of grieving family members and cleaning up and stitching his own wounds more than once... all of that. He hated it so bad, not because of the actual job, no - _that_, he did like, because in the end it all payed off, getting rid of the often life-threatening problem and saving people's lives - but the fact that he had to do it all _solo_. Alone, when that should have all been someone else's job - _were_ someone else's job, until that _someone_up and left. Left their dad with one less family member, and Dean with no partner. No brother.

So, yeah, he wanted to get Sam now. He wanted help in finding Dad, because God only knows where the guy was. And - damn it all, he just wanted to _not be alone _anymore. He couldn't find Dad alone, couldn't bear the thought of searching all over just by himself. Yeah, he wanted his brother back at his side, so what?

Decision made, Dean grabbed his duffel bag - already packed and ready - and his shotgun off the table, and head out of the motel room without a backward glance. He reached his Impala and threw the things into the trunk before sliding into his seat and gearing up the engine, a corner of his lips curving upwards in a half smile as the familiar sounds of Metallica filled the car while he drove.

Dean glanced at the bare passenger seat, trying to imagine Sam sitting there again, fidgeting with something - because the kid never could sit still for long - or with his head bowed into a book, bangs falling all over his face and covering it from sight. Dean wondered if he'd cut his hair yet, then shook his head. Of course he hadn't. Sam actually _liked_having girl hair. Not to mention the fact that it added to his innocence so much.

Sammy's innocence. There was something Dean had spent nearly his whole life protecting. Always keeping the worst of things away from his kid brother, hiding him from the really bad stuff. Not everything was avoidable, though, and he knew that sooner or later Sam would have to be exposed fully to everything, and where would that innocence be then? And of course, because it was Sam - stubborn, thinking-for-himself, wanting-to-be-normal Sammy, that had to be sooner rather than later. And, honestly? Dean would have preferred it to be never - he hadn't played his perfect awesome big brother role for so many years only for his little brother to suddenly grow up one day and decide to go out on his own, to live his own life, with his own planned-out future.

And... there it was. The key concept here. _Alone_. Dean was _really_ starting to hate that word. He wouldn't admit it, not out loud anyway, but he'd wasted - no, _spent_- countless hours and days after Sam left worrying, because the kid had nobody to watch his back out there. Sure, he'd make friends, probably pick up a girl too on the way, but Dean knew that his brother didn't trust anyone too easily, especially not with his life. He knew that because he had taught him. Hell, he'd taught him almost everything he knew. Well, what he knew three-plus years ago; no doubt Sam had picked up a lot of new stuff at that college of his... And no doubt not even half of it would be useful on a hunt.

Which, of course, it wouldn't ned to be, since Sam wasn't hunting anymore. He wouldn't have forgotten his stuff though, Dean was at least sure of that. Almost two decades of training didn't just disappear after three years of... well, 'normal life', as Sam put it. And he would still be good, because Dean had spent hours on end training the kid, sparring with him and teaching him all the moves he knew, when Dad couldn't. And what he got out of it made all the effort more than worth it; not the hunting partner who he could trust to do his job with no trouble, but the brother who looked up to him and he could rely on to watch his back when he couldn't trust anyone else to.

That's why Dean was sure that Sam wouldn't just turn him away without hearing him out - even though a part of him feared it. Sam wouldn't have just forgotten what it's like to have someone with you who you could count on with your life and soul, or the fact that - besides their dad - he was that person for his brother.

And that sure wasn't about to change anytime soon. Not even a few years apart could outdo a lifetime stuck together. Even if Sam had changed during his time at Stanford... which Dean hoped he hadn't much. Having to adapt to a full grown-up and independent Sammy was not something Dean wanted to have to look forward to. Not to mention how awkward it would be if he read his brother wrong.

A grim laugh escaped Dean at that though. He never thought he'd ever see the day when he was worried about reading Sammy wrongly. Not when he'd practically raised the kid since he was in diapers, all the way until he was old enough to think and act for himself and decide he wanted to be normal. No need to say how much _that_had hurt. Not the wanting to be normal bit - hell, no; Sammy had wanted things normal since he was a little kid - but the fact that Sam was all set and ready to leave his dad and brother to do things his way. Alright, so it wasn't that much of a surprise - Sam and Dad had always been at each other's necks over everything, and the kid had never enjoyed hunting as much as his brother did - but then, expecting to be shot never lessened the pain when it came. A part of Dean had taken Sammy's leave somewhat personally; the older brother part that had raised the kid ans taught him everything, saw it as a 'I don't need you anymore, I can take care of myself' thing - which was so totally chick-flick-ish and would have been over-the-top dramatic, if Sam hadn't uttered those words before. Not exactly that, but as a teenager he'd gone through the phase where he thought he could do everything and that was about the time he really started arguing with their dad, and started trying to do things by himself, refusing Dean's help or advice out of sheer stubborn pride, even when he did things wrong - like almost shoot himself. That, was not a fun time.

But Sammy had grown out of that. Of course he still needed his big brother, even if he decided to go and live somewhere far and do normal-people-stuff. Dean swore that if Sam claimed he didn't, he'd just knock him out and drag him along anyway. The guy didn't exactly get a choice, because Dean was keeping the idea in his head that Sammy would willingly come along and help him. Any thoughts otherwise wouldn't dare even take a step into his mind, unless they wanted him to smite them into dust.

So, hell yeah, Dean was getting his brother back. It was about damn time the Winchester brothers were back in business, 'cause everyone knew they were one heck of a force to be reckoned with. And hell, even if they couldn't find Dad - and that was a big _if_ in Dean's mind - having Sammy back at his side would be awesome anyway.

Bar the chick-flick moments.

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><p><strong>AN -** *waves* Yo! Again. How didja like it? ^^ I looooovvvvvveeeeee these brothers and their awesomeness so damn much. *cuddles them both* Thanks to Dodo for reading it before and giving her opinion. As always. :P You get too many priviledges, dude. But 'tis okay, cuz I got to read that adorableness that was pouting-puppy-dog-eyes Sammy and it was worth it. ^^

Ohkayz, so this is officially my second ever SPN fic! Yayz! :D I feel cool now, hehe. Uh, what else... Yeah, I don't think I've got anything to ramble about, just... I miss Sammy's adorable bangs-that-fell-into-his-eyes from season 1 cuz he looked soooo cute and innocent like that. :'( *cuddles him tight*

Is all. Review? ^^ Cheerios~

izzy.


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